Behind the Scenes: Naked Book Club

When was the last time you talked about sex?

I started a naked book club. It was an idea we had. Then I ran with it... I wasn't sure how it would work really. And just before launch night, I questioned whether it was the right thing to do.

Because - I thought - I don't need strangers to help me meet my edges. And being naked on screen, that's just objectification isn't it?

But on launch night, I got 'undressed' up, lit my candles, poured my wine and prepared for a little date with some strangers and a sextract.

I read a steamy scene from a fantasy novel. Afterwards, the conversation moved through a discussion of power dynamics in lust; realistic depictions of oral sex; perspective shaping the pleasure during an intimate act of lust... we thought about the words used to describe anatomy and we shared our favourite literotica tropes.

And as I read, and as we chatted, I think we all forgot that we were naked. The nakedness was secondary to the conversation. The awkward voyeurism I had anticipated melted into the background of community.

I had enjoyed the performance aspect of hosting and reading. But the real kink that had been met? Having an open discussion about sex. Without judgement. Without censoring.

Think about it. When was the last time you did that?

Erotica and romantasy as a fiction trend feels relatively new - it's exploding all over bookshop windows and reading apps. But for centuries, books have been written to explore the sexual and sensual attractions and activities between humans. Most of them end up on a banned list. Why? Because we seem to shame the very act that got us here! The taboo is probably part of the fun- I am sure it was for the members of the Naked Book Club. But the taboo is also perpetuating antiquated notions of propriety when it comes to sex and is stifling necessary conversations about consent, power, lust, kink...

When those conversations began in Book Club, there was no embarrassed laughter, no retaliation or rudeness. Instead adults visibly relaxed to see their ideas and their honesty and their fantasy received and embraced. Every member of the first Naked Book Club* said that they would be interested to read and discuss sensual and sexual education and self-development before we read the sexy fiction... which tells me that actually, the majority of us want to know more - we want to explore our sensuality in thoughtful ways that enlighten us; we crave the space for honesty; we desire connection through words and shared ideas not just through the meeting of bodies.

That conversation space before sex... that's the real edge.

*If you're interested in knowing more about Naked Book Club, send me an email at Devotion:divinemamarising.com