Five Things that Sensuality is not...

Sensuality and sex are not the same thing...

so what exactly is the difference?

We hear the word 'sensuality' and our imagination runs rampant. Or we cringe and shrink. Because you probably didn't want to know about sex. You wanted something else. Something about making life feel a little bit more 'oomph'. A little bit more 'aahhhh...'

And whilst there is a HUGE crossover, and one is perhaps dependent upon the other (though can you guess which way round it actually is?): there is not a co-dependence.

You can have a sensual life and not be having sex all of the time. Now... it might be a life without the same connection and spice that sensual sex can add, but the sensual life is not one big orgy.

1. I've already covered it. But I will say it again: sensuality is not sex.

   Sensuality is bigger than just sex. Sex can be an act - a momentary interaction. Sensuality can be an integral part of a deep and enjoyable sexual connection. But the act of sex alone is not necessarily sensuality... sensuality is deeper than that.

   
   

2. Sensuality is not performance

   The world of social media will perhaps make you think otherwise. But embodied sensuality is not something done or danced infront of the camera for likes or applause. It is a state of being. It is presence. Awareness. There is no time constraint and no purchase plan. You do not have a start point or an end goal. And there are no medals awarded for sensual living. It is its own reward

   
   

3. Sensuality is not shameful

   I hate to break your taboo bubble. But sensuality is not something to be embarrased by. It is not a little kink we only bring out in the dark. Would you tell a child that they should be ashamed of themselves when they dig their hands into wet mud just to explore how it feels against their skin...? We are born sensory creatures - we have five of them after all... It is part of living. It might take some bravery to break the conditioning around sensory experimentation and discovery, but it simply means you enjoy the world as it tastes, smells, sounds and (most deliciously) feels against and within your body

   
   

4. Sensuality is not dependent on others

   You do not need anyone else to be sensual. You don't need expensive gifts, chic boudoirs and instagrammable spa breaks. You don't need to have your sensual connection prescribed to you by anyone else or withheld by someone else. It is an experience that is for you and in you and understood by you. Pleasure from a sensual experience is gratifying when you have encountered it first hand and in a ritual moment. The Japanese call this'Ichigo Ichie' - the art of being sensfully present.

   
   

5. Sensuality is not the same for everyone

   Sure, we all have the same five senses. But we do not all process every sensory element the same way. This is the beauty of sensuality; it is uniquely yours. And in that way, sensuality becomes a gorgeous, experimental journey. The sensual life is about discovering the tastes you most delight in; the sounds that spark emotions, vibrations, energetic desires to move in a certain way... and then enjoying them frequently with the same enthusiasm as the first time. If they were the same for everyone, then the world would be a boring place.

Perhaps after reading, you can see how sensuality and sexuality can be blended. Imagine the sexual intimacy that would occur after a sensual seduction, or if you were so sensfully and unashamedly present during the body whilst having that sex.

But a sensual life is a life witnessed, enjoyed, through the senses and the thousands of nerve-endings that make up our bodies.

A life more turned on by life itself.

What's shameful about that?